Today I’ve decided to take time out, I’m exhausted. I feel fried. I’ve had a roller coaster 8 months. I’ve finally gotten in touch with my grief after been dealt with the blows of ‘loss at every level’ ranging from my mother to losing one of my closest friends. Yet at the same time I fully immersed myself in creating an exciting new business platform Storyhouse.rocks, which is a storytelling platform.
I’m drained. I know that I have been running at 100 mph. The truth is, I didn’t stop to feel the actual pain of my loss, and instead I went full steam ahead focusing all my attention, drive and determination into my new project. It felt good to be distracted.
Sadly, as human beings we can’t get away with parking our feelings forever. The past few weeks I noticed feeling really tired, being impatient and irritable unable to concentrate which leaked into r into my sense of self… self-doubt creeping in, a low feeling and my trade mark bubbly character sliding down the pan.
Does it mean as a coach I shouldn’t share my wobbles and insecurities?
Does it mean that you as the reader now thinks that I’m incapable of helping you?
HELL NO! I’m simply sharing this from the perspective of being human, sharing that we as coaches and other intervention therapies are not immune to life’s’ ups and downs, we go through this too! I guess we have the advantage of knowing how to get out a slump a lot quicker.
If, as you read this, you decide to judge me because of my share, then you’re entitled to do that too. That’s fair enough, I think.
My experience as a Personal Coach to business owners and entrepreneurs, is that it can be extremely difficult to accept not feeling on top, not being in control, there’s a pressure (almost always self-inflicted) to feel you should be infallible. But the reality is trying to run your business when you’re not firing on all cylinders is near on impossible and the implications can actually contaminate so many other areas of your life.
We all hit hurdles, hard times and from time to time some of us struggle with esteem issues… but the difference that makes the difference is how we respond when it happens!
As for me, I have my family to think of and I care passionately about my own mental and emotional health so today after a tearful start I said to myself “perhaps I need to take a dose of my own medicine, and take a day or two away from my business.
So here I am sat on my sofa, writing this and reflecting over my 12 + years of coaching. I’m thinking through particular conversations with clients and reflecting on moments they’ve chosen to be vulnerable with me.
I’m sharing some client ‘highlights’… which I have called:
ALL I WANT IS:
“To find a solution from where I am to where I want to be, as it feels impossible right now”
“To find a way of earning an income, doing what I’m good at”
“To change what I’m doing, even though I wholeheartedly thought this was what I wanted to do”
“To be around inspiring and positive people, so that they can help me lift my energy when I’m struggling to do it for myself”
“To feel that I’m not going to be stuck forever”
To feel connected to my family, myself and live a happier life
“To not feel so despondent, angry or full of resentment”
“To not feel trapped and suffocated from the thoughts in my head”
“To learn how to accept myself for who I am, the way I am so that I can be, have and do things in a way that bring me joy”
“To not feel so alone and lonely and to have someone I can really talk to who listens to me”
“To spend time with people who want nothing from me ”
“To have someone unravel the crap in my head”
“To have clarity. I need some RESULTS ”
“To have help with the ‘how; I know the what but I’m so overwhelmed. so instead. I’m sit in front of the computer just staring at it and feeling like a dead loss”
“To move out from underneath this rock ”
“To not feel guilty and selfish for wanting time for myself ”
“To be in a relationship”
“To discover what I’m good at”
“To know who I am”
“To be financially independent”
Now I can assure you that these are only a select collection of statements that have left the lips of some very highly driven, intelligent and otherwise successful people.
I feel blessed that they felt able to share their innermost feelings and thoughts with me. It has not taken away their ability to be simply amazing business owners, professionals and entrepreneurs but it shows human commonality and that we all have our days.
As for me, I’m sure I’ll be back to business in a few days but for now, today in this moment
ALL I WANT to do is just sit on this God-dammed sofa and type till my heart’s content because that’s something I actually love doing. (now back off …grammar police people, I’m not claiming to be a writer)
Feel free to contact me but not tomorrow as I’m officially still off work.
How do you handle the days when you’re just not up to it ?
I for one, would love to hear from you.
What other ideas can you add? If you enjoyed this blog post, please share it with a friend!
With love and blessings